{"id":60299,"date":"2026-04-16T08:41:49","date_gmt":"2026-04-16T12:41:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/?p=60299"},"modified":"2026-04-16T09:01:11","modified_gmt":"2026-04-16T13:01:11","slug":"60299","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/?p=60299","title":{"rendered":"

No one has ever seen anything like it!!!<\/span><\/b><\/h2>"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Article That Definitely Won’t Get Me Killed Because Everything in It Is Fiction (Please Don’t Kill Me)<\/h1>\n

An Entirely Fictional Story About an Entirely Fictional President Whose Family Definitely Did Not Turn a War Into a Casino<\/h3>\n

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\"\"Make Westeros Great Again: Step one, start a war. Step two, bet on the war. Step three, gut the Master of Laws so nobody investigates steps one and two.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Any Resemblance to Persons Living or Dead Is Purely Coincidental and Probably Their Fault<\/h2>\n

Posted by The Wise Wolf<\/p>\n

The following is a work of political satire protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. All characters are fictional. All events are hypothetical. All betting platforms are imaginary. If you recognize anyone in this story, that says more about the state of your country than it does about my writing. I am a work of fiction. You are a work of fiction. Everything is fine.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me tell you a story about a man named Ronald Gump.<\/p>\n

Ronald Gump was a real estate developer who became a reality television star who became the President of the United States, which is the kind of career trajectory that makes sense only in a country where the people who pick the leader also pick the winner of Dancing with the Stars and sometimes get those two activities confused. Gump was beloved by millions. He told them he was the greatest president in history, possibly the greatest human in history, possibly sent by God Himself to save America from the forces of evil, and his supporters believed this with the kind of unwavering certainty that is usually reserved for people who think professional wrestling is real.<\/p>\n

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\"\"Now, Gump had a son. We\u2019ll call him Ronald Gump Jr. Junior was a businessman, an investor, a venture capitalist, and a strategic advisor to two online betting platforms called Polly Market and Kalshit.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Polly Market was an offshore crypto platform where anyone could create an anonymous account and bet on anything, including (and I cannot stress this enough) whether the United States military would bomb a foreign country on a specific date. Kalshit was the \u201cregulated\u201d version, which means it had a piece of paper from a government agency saying it was allowed to let people gamble on war. Junior advised both of them. At the same time. While his father was the President. While his father was starting wars.<\/p>\n

(But remember, this is fiction.)<\/p>\n

In this completely fictional story, Daddy Gump launched a military operation against a country in the Middle East. I won\u2019t say which country because this is a work of imagination and I don\u2019t want to get specific about imaginary wars. Missiles were fired. Infrastructure was destroyed. Oil prices went through the roof. The stock market went haywire. And on the two betting platforms that the President\u2019s son happened to advise, people were placing bets on every single aspect of the conflict: when the bombs would drop, when they\u2019d stop, whether a foreign leader would be removed, whether a ceasefire would happen, whether a strait that controls 20% of the world\u2019s energy would reopen.<\/p>\n

And here is where the story gets interesting, which in political fiction usually means \u201chere is where people start committing felonies.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Approximately 15 minutes before Daddy Gump posted on social media that he was pausing the bombing, $580 million in oil futures trades hit the market. At 6:49 in the morning. On a Monday. The trading volume at 6:50 AM was six times the normal volume for that time of day. Fifteen minutes later, Gump posted and the markets moved exactly in the direction those trades predicted. A fictional congressman named Ritchie Zorres looked at this and said, and I am quoting him exactly (fictionally), \u201cthe only plausible answer is an insider trader. Any other alternative is a statistical impossibility.\u201d Nobody was charged. Nobody was investigated. The fictional regulatory agency that would handle this had been gutted from 36 lawyers to two, which is a coincidence that I\u2019m sure has a perfectly innocent explanation that I will wait patiently to hear until the sun explodes.<\/p>\n

It happened again. Before the next ceasefire announcement, $950 million was bet on oil prices falling. Fifty brand new Polly Market accounts (their first-ever bets, all created within minutes of each other) placed heavy wagers on a ceasefire before it was announced. One anonymous account called \u201cMagaMoneyMan\u201d made $500,000 in a single day betting on the removal of a foreign leader. Nobody knows who MagaMoneyMan is. Nobody can find out because the account is an anonymous crypto wallet on an offshore platform that is partially registered in Panama, which is the country where you register things when you don\u2019t want anyone to know who owns them.<\/p>\n

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Thanks for reading The Wise Wolf! This post is public so feel free to share it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The fictional White House responded to all of this by sending a staff-wide email reminding employees not to insider trade. Let me say that again. The White House sent a memo that said \u201cplease don\u2019t use classified information to make money on the war.\u201d You don\u2019t send that email preemptively. You send that email because someone already did it and you need a paper trail that says you told them not to. That\u2019s not a warning. That\u2019s a legal defense. That\u2019s the email that gets read aloud at a congressional hearing three years from now while someone\u2019s lawyer argues that his client was told not to do the thing he already did.<\/p>\n

(Still fiction. All of it. Completely made up.)<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, in this fictional universe, the President\u2019s son-in-law, a gentleman we\u2019ll call Jared Plusher, was serving as a special envoy to the Middle East. His job was negotiating with the governments of the countries affected by the war. His other job, the one he did simultaneously, was raising billions of dollars for his private equity fund from those same governments. The man negotiating the terms of the war was fundraising from the people on the other side of the table. In any other context this would be called a shakedown. In Washington it\u2019s called diplomacy.<\/p>\n

The President\u2019s other sons invested in drone companies. Drone companies that compete for Pentagon contracts. Pentagon contracts related to the war. The war their father started. The war their brother was taking bets on. Every member of this family had a revenue stream attached to the conflict like a series of garden hoses all connected to the same fire hydrant, and the fire hydrant was labeled \u201cdead people.\u201d<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing that really got me. Not the betting. Not the drones. Not the fundraising.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s that the man who built the entire regulatory structure to protect this operation, who appointed the head of the agency that oversees the betting platforms, who is suing states that try to regulate the platforms, who installed a former betting platform employee inside the government agency that oversees the SEC, whose administration canceled 159 enforcement actions against 166 companies (30 of which donated to his campaign), whose DOJ gutted the Public Integrity Section from 36 lawyers to two, whose SEC lost its top enforcement official after she was blocked from pursuing cases that touched his circle… this is the same man whose name appeared in a different set of records about twenty years ago. Records belonging to a man named Joffrey Poopstain.<\/p>\n

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\"\"King Joffrey Poopstain is a terrific guy. He likes beautiful wenches as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.” – Ronald Gump, New Westeros Magazine, 2002<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Fourteen phone numbers in the black book. Flight logs. A membership at the club. Twenty years of friendship. A quote in a magazine saying the guy \u201clikes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.\u201d An Attorney General who gave the trafficking case a sweetheart deal and was later rewarded with a cabinet position. A civil case alleging the rape of a 13-year-old girl that was dropped after the plaintiff received death threats. And a death in a jail cell that roughly zero percent of the American population believes happened the way they said it did.<\/p>\n

But don\u2019t worry. He was \u201cinvestigating\u201d Poopstain the whole time. For twenty years. On the plane. On the island. At the parties. Investigating. Very thoroughly. The longest undercover operation in history, apparently, conducted by a man who also needed five draft deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. The bravery is staggering.<\/h3>\n

(Fiction. Remember? Fiction.)<\/h1>\n

I\u2019m not laughing anymore. I need to tell you something.<\/p>\n

I started this article as satire because satire is the last legal protection I have. I can\u2019t write what I actually think is happening because the last journalist who got too close to the wrong story ended up dead or in prison or bankrupted by legal fees designed to shut him up. I know this because I\u2019ve gotten the legal threats. I\u2019ve gotten the coordinated harassment. I\u2019ve watched my name get dragged through every intelligence-adjacent smear operation that exists on the internet. I am writing this from a place that most journalists wouldn\u2019t be caught dead in. And I mean that literally.<\/p>\n

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What I am watching is the systematic conversion of the United States government into a for-profit criminal enterprise. The war is a revenue generator. The betting platforms are the collection mechanism. The regulatory agencies have been hollowed out so nobody can stop it. The courts have been stacked so nobody can challenge it. The enforcement divisions have been gutted so nobody can prosecute it. And the media reports each piece separately so nobody sees the whole picture, because the companies that own the media need the same government\u2019s permission to operate.<\/h1>\n

There is a verse in the book of James, chapter 5, verses 1 through 6, that I used to read as poetry. I don\u2019t read it as poetry anymore. \u201cCome now, you rich, weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments are moth-eaten. Your gold and silver have corroded, and their corrosion will be evidence against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure in the last days.\u201d<\/p>\n

Laid up treasure in the last days. That\u2019s what this is. $580 million in oil futures at 6:49 in the morning. $950 million before a ceasefire. $500,000 on an anonymous crypto wallet named MagaMoneyMan. Billions raised from Gulf governments by the son-in-law of the man who bombed the Gulf. Drone company investments by the sons of the man who orders the drone strikes. An entire regulatory apparatus demolished so the money can flow without interruption. Treasure. Laid up. In the last days.<\/p>\n

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\"\"Revelation 18 describes the fall of Mystery Babylon, the great system of commerce and corruption that rules the earth in the final age:<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cThe merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her because no one buys their cargo anymore, cargo of gold, silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen, purple, silk and scarlet cloth… and slaves, that is, human souls.\u201d Human souls. The same chapter that lists gold and silver and luxury goods ends with the trafficking of human beings. Money and flesh. Commerce and exploitation. The market and the body. It was always the same system. Poopstain ran the flesh side. The betting platforms run the money side. And at the center of both of them, for decades, is the same family, smiling, waving, telling you they were sent by God.<\/p>\n

The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived in luxury with her will weep and wail when they see the smoke of her burning. They will stand far off, in fear of her torment, and say \u201cAlas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.\u201d<\/p>\n

They\u2019re building bunkers right now. Zuckerberg in Hawaii. Thiel in New Zealand. The billionaire class is buying land in Patagonia and Tasmania and building underground fortresses with ten-year food supplies and private airstrips. They know what\u2019s coming. They\u2019re laying up their treasure and building their mountains to hide under. They think concrete and money will protect them from what\u2019s next. It won\u2019t. Nothing they build will be deep enough.<\/h3>\n

I don\u2019t know what\u2019s coming. I know what I see. I see a government turned into a casino. I see a war turned into a revenue stream. I see betting platforms advised by the president\u2019s son taking wagers on the president\u2019s military decisions while anonymous accounts make millions and the agencies that would investigate have been deliberately destroyed. I see the same name connected to the largest sex trafficking operation in American history and the largest suspected insider trading operation in American history and nobody in any position of authority lifting a finger because the fingers have all been paid for.<\/p>\n

I see a country being eaten alive by the people it elected to protect it. And I see half the population defending it because they\u2019ve been convinced that the man doing the eating was sent by Jesus, despite the fact that Jesus explicitly warned them about exactly this: false prophets who come in sheep\u2019s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. Matthew 7:15. He told you. Two thousand years ago. He told you exactly what this would look like. And you voted for it twice. Hell, I voted for it twice.<\/h2>\n

I stood in line and I pulled the lever and I believed every word because I WANTED to believe it. Then the Joffrey Poopstain files came out and I spent two weeks reading them for ten hours a day and I wept. I am not a man who weeps. I wept. Because what was in those files was so depraved, so evil, so stomach-churningly detailed that I could not finish a single sitting without walking away from my screen and staring at a wall. And when I was done reading, I looked at the exposed evidence and I looked at who was connected to it and I wised up. I got smart. I recognized a liar and a con and a cheat. And now I am trying to make amends for my stupidity by warning you about what I helped put in power, and I hope to God that some of you reading this are going to do the same damn thing, because we screwed up. We put a monster in the White House and he will not rest until he has every shekel on Earth in his pocket and every institution that could stop him burned to the ground.<\/p>\n

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Don\u2019t Believe Me? Good. Read It Yourself.<\/h2>\n

Every single claim in this completely fictional story is documented by real journalists at real news organizations. Here are the receipts. Click them. Read them. Then come back and tell me which part I made up.<\/p>\n

$580 million in oil futures trades 15 minutes before the Iran pause announcement:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.cbsnews.com\/news\/insider-trading-oil-futures-trump-iran-post\/<\/p>\n

$950 million bet on oil prices falling before the ceasefire:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2026\/04\/10\/iran-war-prediction-markets-white-house.html<\/p>\n

Rep. Torres calls it potentially \u201cthe largest insider trading in history,\u201d demands SEC probe:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2026\/04\/08\/iran-ceasefire-futures-markets-ritchie-torrres.html<\/p>\n

\u201cAn epidemic of suspicious trading\u201d around the President\u2019s decisions (Kushner fundraising, drone investments, crypto ties, enforcement gutted):<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.axios.com\/2026\/03\/25\/trump-iran-oil-insider-trading<\/p>\n

50 new Polly Market accounts bet on ceasefire before announcement, White House warning email:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/time.com\/article\/2026\/04\/10\/white-house-oil-prediction-markets-polymarket-bets-insider-trading-war\/<\/p>\n

The President\u2019s son advises both betting platforms, \u201cMagaMoneyMan\u201d makes $500K, former platform employee joins government oversight agency:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.aljazeera.com\/economy\/2026\/3\/4\/traders-mint-money-on-betting-platforms-on-us-israel-strike-on-iran<\/p>\n

White House staff warned not to insider trade on prediction markets:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2026\/04\/10\/iran-war-prediction-markets-white-house.html<\/p>\n

Administration sues three states that tried to regulate prediction markets:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/04\/02\/nx-s1-5771635\/trump-cftc-kalshi-polymarket-lawsuits<\/p>\n

Insider trading concerns reported by NPR:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/03\/26\/nx-s1-5759311\/trades-made-before-trump-delayed-plans-to-attack-iran-raise-insider-trading-concerns<\/p>\n

Bloomberg reports lawmaker urges SEC probe into \u201csuspicious\u201d trading:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.bloomberg.com\/news\/articles\/2026-04-08\/lawmaker-urges-sec-to-probe-suspicious-trading-amid-iran-war<\/p>\n

NBC News investigation into insider trading on prediction markets:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/business\/consumer\/insider-trading-prediction-markets-trump-rules-rcna265452<\/p>\n

CNN reports on prediction market ties to administration, \u201cdeath markets,\u201d and Poopstain-level corruption:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2026\/03\/07\/politics\/iran-war-prediction-markets-polymarket-kalshi<\/p>\n

PBS News on prediction markets and the Iran war:<\/strong>\u00a0https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/newshour\/economy\/iran-war-puts-prediction-markets-back-in-the-spotlight<\/p>\n

That\u2019s NPR. CNBC. CNN. CBS. Bloomberg. Axios. TIME. Al Jazeera. PBS. NBC News. These aren\u2019t Substack bloggers. These aren\u2019t conspiracy sites. These are the same outlets that your television is tuned to right now while you\u2019re reading this article and deciding I\u2019m crazy. They ALL reported it. They just never put it in one place. I did. You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n

Now go read them and come back and tell me which part is fiction.<\/p>\n

Help keep the Wise Wolf howling.<\/p>\n

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Dan Rather<\/a><\/span>,<\/p>\n

If you are reading this\u2026 You have more reach than I do. You can break this story. Do one more for us please\u2026 You\u2019re the greatest journalist in history and my idol. Please. The world needs you.<\/p>\n

\u2014 The Wise Wolf<\/p>\n

____
\nhttps:\/\/www.thewisewolf.club\/p\/trump-war-profiteering<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Article That Definitely Won’t Get Me Killed Because Everything in It Is Fiction (Please Don’t Kill Me) An Entirely Fictional Story About an Entirely Fictional President Whose Family Definitely Did Not Turn a War Into a Casino<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-60299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=60299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60299\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=60299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=60299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=60299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}